Gold Star Michigan mother plans memorial for those who lost family in active service

VAN BUREN COUNTY, MI — For Laura De Roo, the pain of losing her son, U.S. Army Sgt. Gabriel De Roo, while he was serving in Iraq in 2006, will never completely go away.

It’s a burden she and other family members will carry the rest of their lives, she said.

“This is an ongoing struggle all of us have,” said De Roo, who is chairing a committee to bring a Gold Star Memorial to the Van Buren County village of Paw Paw. “Less than 1% of the population serves in the military. The number that die in active duty is far less than that.”

A Gold Star is given to immediate family members of a service member who dies in active military service, regardless of whether it was in combat.

“Military death is different because that child knows when they sign up there is always that possibility,” she said. “We never know what to expect. Wars pop up and disappear overnight.”

Knowing death is a possibility is part of the sacrifice of enlisting, she said. Still, it doesn’t make losing a loved one any easier. Not for her or for fellow Gold Star mother Robyn Wixom, of Bloomingdale, whose son U.S. Army Sgt. Cole Wixom died in a training accident in New Mexico in 2019.

De Roo said there’s a need for members of the Gold Star community to have a place to come together and support one another. A memorial, she said, would also help other community members better understand the loss Gold Star families live with.

The goal is to raise the funds to have a memorial placed at Maple City Veterans Memorial Park, 510 E. Michigan Ave., sometime in 2026. The memorial would honor the families of servicemen and women who sacrificed their lives while serving in the country’s Armed Forces.

De Roo, Wixom and other committee members — veteran Steve Haddad and Karen Straffon — are working with The Woody Williams Foundation to see this vision to life. The hope, De Roo said, is to raise just over $100,000 to make it happen.

The memorial would be made of black granite and measure 7-feet tall and 13-feet long. One side of the memorial would pay tribute to Gold Star families and relatives. The other side would tell a community’s unique story based upon four pillars of foundation: homeland, family, patriot and sacrifice.

At the center of the memorial would be a silhouette of a saluting service member. The silhouette is an intentional “void,” indicating the loved one can no longer be touched or embraced.

Depending on how much is raised, De Roo said the committee is also looking into memorial benches or another way to pay tribute to specific fallen servicemen and women. The memorial itself will not have those families on it, as it is for all, she said.

Those interested in donating can do so at woodywilliams.org/monuments/paw-paw-mi.html or by submitting a check to Woody Williams Foundation, 12123 Shelbyville Rd, Suite 100, Louisville, KY 40243. If mailing a check, people are asked to write “Paw Paw, MI” on the memo line to ensure the funds are directed correctly.

Anyone with questions may contact De Roo at deroolaura6@gmail.com or 269-365-8666.